Piece of Daily Life Drama

I am so tired, and about to explode. I've tried to be normal, I know some good advices said do not ever try pretending to be someone you don't, but it doesn't that easy. all of us, want to be accepted and appreciated. we want to stay in balance and living life with harmony.
Sometimes, I think I might be an exception. I was designed differently. and I feel so lonely, no one understand me.
I tried to make peoples like me, why on earth, they can do the same thing to me? i mean, if someone did good things to you, of course, we hope someday, when bad things happened to us, someone somewhere somehow, will do good thing to us. because we're a good person, rite? it doesn't mean i am not a sincerer. Even McCartney said, "the love you got is equal to the love you made".
It there were no these equal patterns, then why should we do good things? if good peoples always got a bad luck. Some peoples said, it must be a test, to test how sincere someone could be. well, maybe. Maybe, all of my problems were a test. If it's true, everything is a test, may i cry? may i explode? may i reveal my emotions which lock inside? maybe i need a really good advice, maybe i don't. maybe all i ever need is just a proof, that at the end, everything will be okay.

"if it's not a good ending, then it shouldn't be an ending"