Anxiety

Just days before my departure, I feel extremely gloomy and confused.
Life will be hard, I just knew that.

I wish to undo things in life but that is the most pointless idea ever. I've known so many bright people, they don't stop for a thing, anything. Life goes on and they knew that.
I knew that.

People keep telling me, I'd be okay. I doubt that. I am afraid of so many things. Life is funny, I feel like I am heading to a trap called "adulthood"

But who wants to stay and settle in forever? Everyone wants to move, for a better. I do too.

I imagine life will be great and bright,
- get an additional degree
- marry someone and share a bed together
- have kids
- develop some hobbies and investment
- be rich (materially and emotionally)
- be wise
- live in a better place
- have some power to influence people
- be more religious and be more prepared for death
- be more healthy and always pretty

Those wishes are sound typical, but those were everyone's dream. The difference between the winner and the loser is a matter of will to pursue all of his/her goals.

I set my goals. I am ready to compete globally. I let God decide my path. I let the universe tells me what to do.

I am ready to leave my comfort bedroom and live far apart from family. I will remember them in my heart.

Ps: sorry for some pending comments. I know that blogger is suppose to welcome each other, but I am totally loner and I actually do not want to promote my blog. I just write so that I have evidence of my existence. And for a bonus, I think it's so cool when a total stranger could care to me through my writings. I believe all of us are connected in a very distinctive way.

Cheers,
Nadia