wipe cream

every ice blended coffee has wipe cream at top. like every black forest has cherry.

like every smile has a happy effect. so, i try to make up my smile.

honestly, i don't know what kind of post shud i write, my life turns upside down. everything that i wish i had, falling apart. torn to pieces.

my subjects, my mid term results, my working life, my bestfriend, my boyfriend.

can you imagine, whaddaya feel if ur bestfriend has a crush with your crush?

and your bestfriend turns to stranger

and your boyfriend cheated you for flight attendant

and you lost your job

and you couldn't get into any subject at school because you skipped class like 2 months.

these are what happened to my life rite now.

i've been in such difficult time before... i fail in every long distance relationship, but i can't find someone good enough around me.

i fall for bad boys, and the only good boy i see.. he's not meant to be with me.

well, lemme skip about personal life.

since i decided to resign from my job, i don't have any income. my saving is drain.

and i don't have enough money...even to top up my cell phone or buy some gassoline for my car.

yes, my mom still give me some.

but I already 20! and almost 21. and am so....underestimated because i can't be independent like i always want to be.

while, am looking for new good boy, and start to fix my life, i think am looking for new job too. i don't want to work in media anymore.

i know media is such a pleasure for me, that was my passion. but then, the salary is so low.

it can't pay my gassoline.

i want to write something, commercially.

but i know my writing skill is degrade by days. i need to improve mine, but too lazy to start.

i need to prioritize everything!

like today, i missed where i put my cash and i lost my sunscreen (i forgot where i put it). i know, my mind ought to be somewhere else. like i put everything inside.

and oh, the funny thing that happened today, is my ex's girlfiend got jelous on me. i even have a crush with my ex. oh come on.

remember about my first ex that i loved so much? he turns to person that i never want to marry with. why on earth she got jelous on me?

it so funny.

well the truth is, the only person that i like, is him.

he's so different.

i madly in love with him. he's kind of drug.

he's bad, but still i need him.

he goes to with other girls

he lies to me

he cheated me

he's bad.

and am good.

too good to live this unfair "friendship"

so, now, am looking for new opportunities out there.

new life.

new job.

new love.

new journey!!

"at the end, you will see trough the sky... that your journey was beautiful"