it's been a hard time for me, literally.

actually, there's nothing i want to share. i read a lot these past days. but then, i don't have any hesitate to write since i know, some of stories just better to be kept.

i met so many amazing peoples in my life, i surrounded by great friends. nothing made me happier than loved by the persons you love. so, i still haven't any plan for my life.

well, while my life is about stagnancy, sadly i have to say, my bf does too (did i mention that i run over his arms again?). he waits for his flight schedule. it bit stressful, being paid to do nothing. well, the things he all can do is hanging around with other pilots or flight attendants. a bunch of flight attendants (maybe).

so i pray all the time, so he'll get the best plan for his work.

sometimes, when i stare myself into mirror i see a poor girl who doesn't have passion. an ugly one with sad face, trying to be sincere as much as she can.

well, i might lost anything. but i know, living like this are worth enough.

since did you know this phrase, "is not the heavy of problems that made you fatigue, it's the time you passed holding them"

maybe, it wasn't a big problem, so you didn't blew it off, you hold it, live with it. you carried sadness all the way around. you didn't know how to turn it back, there's no way back.

so the options are only two. you take that problem while hoping someday it'll be over. or you'll get rid over it, jump to another happiness then turn to sad, and happy, and sad, and happy, and sad......... a parade of seductive-broken-hearted-journey.

so, i picked option one.

well, i know my nature always made me lingers onto sadness.

but well, at least i survived rite?

i shud give myself a reward for it.

and i hope, someday my bf will said out loud to the world, "hey, this tough girl, is mine!"