When I was a kid, I saw adult fights with each other. I saw them are so selfish and nearly like a God.
Adult is definition of God.
They know everything and they can always answer my question.
I assume they met gods before, or it seemed like that to me.
I once adored them, I want to be like them. Put makeups, beautiful dresses, can drive, have a lot of money, beautiful, red lips, and they seem so happy.
But I once hated them, they are so cruel, they don't understand me at that moment. They are so boring! they pushed me study, they pushed me to be not like me, they pushed me to be me.
Adult betrays each other
Adult shouts
Adult cries
Adult takes care of everything
When I was teenage, I realised that adult is a boring creature who can't afford happiness but I acted like one. I've been betrayed, I've changed.
My body is never remained the same, it changes over time.
I grew up with
you can't be good enough
you can be so lazy
there are always better people than you
what you want is not always what you get
people you love may not love you back
people who loves you may not love you someday
your best friends changes
your friends suddenly become prettier
you are not invited to party
you are not in cool kids list
you are not smart enough in ranking
your family member is loved more
your parents won't give you "fun"
you gained weight
suddenly your boyfriend is boring
suddenly your boyfriend is cheated on you
suddenly you cheated on your boyfriend
suddenly you are not loved
suddenly the feeling is gone
suddenly you don't know what you want in life
or maybe you want to be a tree
or maybe you want to see Paris one time, but thinks it is stupid in the other time
or you want to be someone you adore but realise you are not her
this is what I am thinking and I sum up in words. I might have a very weird idea of everything and I know it. Doesn't mean that my life in a bad condition, in fact, I am all good.
I am just... not peaceful.
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