Most of time I don't believe I did things I've done.
I couldn't believe I go this far.
I couldn't believe I made it.


in the darkest mood I find myself being so deceivable toward myself,
I kept lying to myself to make me feel alright
I told myself that "Nadia, you're just great, you can handle yourself, you're strong, you're loving..."
all the good words that do not suit in me.

some part of me are..
delusive
emotionless
hyper sensitive
secretive
and two faced.

Some part of me is very dark, the other part is so innocent nearly stupid.

I wished I did things differently
I wished I did things the same

I am confused.
When everything is finished, could I do things I like?
Should I ask permission to do things I like?

Why people love me, when I don't love myself at all.

"For a pessimist, life is drama. For an optimist, like is a comedy. I need a comedy."