i knew that am so quite now, i tweet more, i write less.
telling everyone my sadness isn't my type, am not a typical girl who cries for hours in front of my best friend, i did that inside washroom thou.
well, since i get used to my routine i feel so blessed. Now, i can finish my assignment in time, and i can control my feelings. my bf called me "drama queen" i might be a drama queen.
after all the things he did to me, he should be thankful i stand still.
well, i told you a funny story. Long time ago, i was thinking to travel around the world, i read a lot of books, from a lot of author. name it! they told me a lot to travel, to be "hijrah", to move to somewhere else.
i knew that travel... is like the only way to conquer all of my curiosity. i said to myself (that time), i want to have at least 30 stamps of countries before 45. like, i want to go to the nicest place on earth so that i can see the beauty of this life... and i want to go to the poorest place on earth where hunger and poverty lies so i can taste my humanity sides.
i want to travel for a meaning, not only the places but also the people. not only the people, but also the nature. such a dreamer rite?
*call me drama queen, i don't mind*
so, i wrote onto those papers, i wrote on my page, i wrote everywhere, that i want to travel. i wish i moved from this city. i mean, 21 years of living should be too much for me. it wasn't i dislike being here, but i want to see the world more.... not only someone's report on his/her writings.
so, i desperately told to my best friend Britney, "Brit, i wanna have a pilot as my husband, and i want my son becomes pilot too. i don't like doctor, pilot is more challenging, and oh, he can take me to travel!"
and voila! she set me up with a pilot, now, i have him as bf. and oh, the problem is more than just that. aviation life.... you know... at times it's sooooo hard.
i still remember what my bf said, "if you want to be with me, it'll be LDR for a life time..."
and this one, "you know, in my profession there are lot of affairs, lot of crasser, nothing predictable... we work based on weather"
i know, he already engaged to his profession more than he engaged to me. and during this dating (a virtual and non virtual dating), i wished he wasn't a pilot. but i know, it stupid.
i wished to travel around the world (it'll be possible if i marry him)
i wished a pilot as my husband (it'll be possible if Allah says so)
i wished my son becomes a pilot (it'll be easier, if i marry him)
but........... after i know him deeper and deeper.
i wish he's near
i wish (if i marry him someday), i want he stays at home at nights.
i wish he understands me more.
i wish he loves me the way i love him.
i know, it's random. but lemme tell you one thing... i think this life has a lot of possibilities.
i could stay, or i could leave.
choose to believe him, in any situation even the worst one.
or, i could simply make up a problem and get rid over him.
or maybe, he could leave me.
or hold me forever.
i could choose to move outside this country and find a scholarship.
or, simply wait him at home in the future.
i could be a good girl, a good daughter, a good best friend, a good lover
i could turn to be a bad person.
so i cite a quotation from Source Code, "can you imagine a different version of you?"
yes, all the possibilities might be a different version of me. and it's start from a simple... a very simple thing.......... a wish.
so be careful with your wish!
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