I googled about real love

When it comes to feeling, I am so concern and logical to understand my strengths and weaknesses. I do believe in the balance of life, feelings, logic, and become determined.
I should say that I do really determined. I know my limit and I will not cross that. But, I also believe that our limit is expandable. The more I push myself to my limit I always reach something further.

For short, this time I really don't know what do I feel exactly. It might be summer fling, it might be a real love. Then, I googled about real love.

There are some points that I concretely understand and try to accept, even it is hard:

1. I can live without him
When we deeply fall in love to someone, world seems rotating around him. We think that we cannot live without him, eventually we can. We forget things and move on. So, this time I know that I can live without him. I feel so hurt inside, imagine that he is the one who usually cheer me up, run after me with anxious expression afraid of me being mad of him. He runs to catch me, he holds my hand and sends me flower. He gave me something that no one ever give it to me. Equality. Love. Affection. Memories. I cannot imagine how does my life after this, but I know I will survive.

2. My love for him will definitely change
This one is the most absolut idea that I tried to neglect. I know that love is some kind of chemical, physical, and emotional reaction between two people. Imagine we need to live separated and there will be no chance for us to meet in person. Love can't happen. It will stay last as good memories but that's it. Everything will constantly changing.
Something that people mostly wrongly understood, by surviving changing and dynamically accept the change we will make everything last. It's not the strongest or the smartest who survived, it is the most adaptable ones. So does love. My love will definitely change towards him, and I guess next time, I will remember him with happy feelings and no regrets. I know I did my best.

3. He is not everything I need
I do need other things in life and I start to think about things I need just when this idea came up. It is a proof that love alone, is not enough. I do have goals in life, and to be honest he is not the part of my goals. I understand that he also has goals and I am not part of it. But, by meeting him, I made another goal that him become the center of it. He gave me power and motivation to reach another possibilities in life.

4. I will not always hold him close
This is hard. My nature is always to protect and to provide love to my partners. To satisfy him mentally, physically, and emotionally. But this is life, we face many ups and downs. I still remember ChingChing said to me that life is like a rope. It is not a straight line we usually hope, It goes bumping, circling, and messy. I will not always hold him close, but I try to always pray for him. I do believe in praying. I do believe we have power that we never discover but it does exist. By doing that, I hope angels, Jesus, and universe will always protect him.

5. Me and him are not the one
It's always possibility in life. He might end up with other girls, He might be not interested in me. But I was so lucky that he end ups with me and interested in me. If our actions are not this action, all the stories will be different. That's why I really need to think about my action. I did mistakes and I really need to think further of this. Our actions determines our success. Some fool usually try hard enough in life, but they did it in wrong way. In order to be with him, I just need a good action and let the universe decide.


-We always know ocean because it is salty, and we always know love because we feel it-