When life gets hard, I don't know whether I should cry or laugh or just let it be. to realize that home is far, and everything's changed I only know that wherever and whenever I live, I have only myself.

My parents are busy and I don't tell stories with my sissy. We are having each other back, but I never be the one weak. I wonder if my friends experience the same things? mostly the ones far away from home. I wonder does my sister do everything okay back home. Usually, we, at least, telling our everyday story like how stupid our classes and teachers are, fighting in the middle of traffic jam while listening to radio, cursing other's people car and try to trespass the yellow light in matter of sepersecond.

I do miss my old life and how comfort it was, yet last summer break, I can't even be comfortable with most of things. The things that my sisters concerned about, I am not longer interested in. They talk about things that I don't want, they buy things I don't need, they pursue things I might run from.

My parents might raise us to be so shallow towards life, I did feel that. I even didn't really care about study cause I knew I passed and I did. The only thing I wanted was to be freed from "home". yet I never really learn how to live alone.

Now, all of sudden, I feel lost and wanted to go home but isn't comfortable with it, like it was. I regret most of things that I never pay attention, I do feel too stupid for most of things. I don't know how strong I am until being strong is the last option I have now.