Life is always so hard for someone who is born differently.
The winner stands alone, but somehow, even a winner... will not take it all.

I always think I made bad decisions, but later, I felt grateful of my decisions. I hate people who always offer us decision but insist us to do what they want at the end. I always be the one who weak enough to please everyone. I never be good enough to anyone. I never get as equal as I deserve.

So, when I already feel happy, content, and lucky. Why does this world against me?

I spent 10 years to fulfill everyone expectations. I never be good enough. I never get my reward of trying so hard to please them, to make them feel lucky having me.
 
Most of my decisions aren't mine, even though they were in fact good decisions.
But, does my happiness doesn't count?

How it feels to decide something and not listen to other people's opinion?
I feel so lost, but it's more comforting than not being myself.

But I am afraid to lose the people I love, I am afraid of losing their love.