My friday morning

I'm so sorry for spamming my own blog, since I knew this is the only way I keep up my self sane.

I got that disorder back, I woke up in the sole night and found that this disorder haunted me again.
I wiped the tears on my cheek. I found it dried.
I was crying in my sleep.

I didn't cry in my sleep since 2009, now I got this disorder back. My eyes felt so hurt when it opened.

I knew I was too hard to myself. I forced my self not crying publicly.
I forced my self to act and react logically. While, deep down inside I felt it emotionally.

This morning, I woke up so late, my friend text me and she she wouldn't go to office.
I was in the mood not so going to office either.
I took a bath lazily and told Ibe I wouldn't go either.
He said okay (I hate him for being so peacefully outside, while I know he's quite emotional inside).
Then bibik told me better to go (in a soft way, of course).
And thanks to my aunt's driver whose has good driving skills.

So I decided to go to office, in uncomfortable mood (a broken heart and a wistful minds).

So now, here I an, sitting on the backside wheel, staring Jakarta's morning traffic. And blogging.

Please God, I know am not a good person, but at least give me a chance.
Please take these pain away.
Please I don't want to cry at nights anymore. I have day to run.


Sincerely,
Nadia Aulia